Mother's Day has always brought about mixed emotions for me. On the one hand, there is absolutely nothing in the world that I would rather be, or consider to be more important, than being a mother. On the other hand, every year in church we hear talks about some speaker's sainted mother who never rose her voice, made dinner from scratch every night, and hand-sewed all of their matching outfits from flour sacks that held her own hand-milled grain. I am SO not that mother. I yell too much, the most gourmet I get is spaghetti (hey - it's Italian. That makes it exotic.), and I feel overwhelmed on almost a constant basis. My house does not stay clean for more than 6 hours (from the time I finish cleaning until the time the kids get up). It frustrates me to hear about those moms - you know the ones. Not only did they lose all of their pregnancy weight in two weeks, they came home from the hospital in their skinny jeans. They don't wear sweats around the house (or out of the house...), while really and truly, every time I get dressed begins a countdown in my head of when I can come home and change.
I feel like I don't measure up. To whose standards, I'm not sure. Because according to my kids, they are pretty happy with me most of the time. Not when I won't let them have cookies for breakfast ( although, shhh, I have let them have cookies for breakfast before. We've also eaten ice cream sundaes for dinner.), but overall, they seem to think I do an okay job. And maybe that's why we hear those talks every year. Maybe my kids won't remember that Cheerios stuck to their feet whenever thay walked in the kitchen or the mountain of laundry hidden in the basement. They'll remember that I loved them with a fierceness that drove me to be strong in situations that would have shattered me before I was a mother. They'll remember that even though I am by no means the person I should be, I am a far better person than I was without them. I am more charitable, more loving, and far more patient. And they have forgiven me all the times I was not those things. They teach me things that I could not learn at any job, in any school, or from any book. They have made me a mom, and for that, I am eternally grateful.
Happy Mother's Day.
4 comments:
I think you are a great mom! Will it really make a difference in the amount of love our kids feel if the house is spotless? I think not. What they will remember and love is that among the mess you sat down to play with them and read to them. And instead of yelling at them for making a mess you just let it go. That's how I justify it.
It's nice to know I'm not the only one that feels this way! If it makes you feel any better, you are a mom that I look up to and wish I was more like. Your kids are so well behaved and always play so nicely with Will. I think as long as we make sure our kids know we love and support them, that is what they will remember. Or at least that's what I'm banking on :)
What they don't tell you in those talks is that mother secretly snuck into the basement in the middle of the night to cry out her frustrations to her childhood dollies. No one is that perfect...I don't care what anyone says. And you are awesome at your job. Only compare yourself to yourself, because everyone thinks you rock. Truly.
Krissy,
When it comes to mothers, you put those so-called "perfect mothers" to shame. You are doing the most important job in the world. Anyone has to only talk to your kids or watch them when you are out to see what a great job you are doing.
I love you.
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